I have not always been as kind to myself as I could have been.
I remember wondering, sometimes on a daily basis, why everyone seemed to have an easier life than me. I used to tell myself it was because they were better than me, and therefore they deserved it more than me, or that they were just luckier than me. It seemed that no matter what I did, and no matter how many ‘positive’ thoughts I had, at the end of the day I was still stuck going nowhere.
This type of dialogue ran daily in the background of my mind. No wonder I was stuck in a rut of despair for so long!
The reality of the situation was that before I realized the power of my own narrative, my words were creating havoc in my life.
The power of my personal narrative was shown to me quite innocently via an introduction made by a close friend to a complete stranger. She introduced me as “This is my friend Michelle who lost her father and brother suddenly 15 years ago”. It was that simple one-line introduction that became one of my biggest wake-up calls.
At first I was hurt and couldn't understand why she would introduce me that way. After all, my loss had been so long ago. What I didn't initially realize was that I had 'programmed her' to refer to me in that way. It was not her fault, and it was not done maliciously in any way whatsoever. It was how she identified me because that was how I identified myself - through my personal narrative and the way I was telling it.
Big wake-up call. Like the bells and whistles kind.
It was through this 10 second sentence that I came to understand that my words had power - extreme power in fact, but I was using them in the wrong way.
I decided that I never wanted to be referenced in any way as a victim of any thing ever again.
I believe today that it was in that particular moment that my self-worth shifted and started heading in the opposite direction.
So just how does one turn around decades of habitual thinking and story-telling?
Well it ain’t easy, let me tell you that much, but it can be accomplished with vigilant awareness of your own narrative.
Once you stop the negative narrative, the real transformational work begins. S#%T will start to happen. I promise. You’ll be amazed.
In order to change your life circumstances, you have to believe to your core that you can. That belief grows and strengthens as you begin to change the story you are telling yourself and others.
Get your beliefs and language in line and then start taking action. You must take small steps towards the life you want. Nothing happens without someone doing something. It also helps to view it as a step towards a new life circumstance rather than a step away from an old one. That slight energetic shift alone can transform you from Victim to Warrior.
You MUST become the warrior of your life.
Warriors risk it all for what they believe in. They do not enter the battlefield thinking they will fail. They see, feel and move towards victory with unwavering belief that they will achieve it.
The first step is becoming aware of the narrative you are creating both internally and externally.
Words really do matter.
Take the wheel and begin using words wisely to make a meaningful u-turn in your life.